There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
