How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
