Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Idk if I want to put a bra on
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
