the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
