We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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