I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
