Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
