Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
