dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do you have feelings for this penis?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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