What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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