Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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