Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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