plz talk dirty to me
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
