so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize