okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
