haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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