So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
there was a trapeze. enough said
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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