Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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