this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
