i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
