i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
