that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
