I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
