I murdered the dance floor call the cops
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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