Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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