I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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