She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
