I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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