I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
this hospital has no fireball
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
