it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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