you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
