I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
