we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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