i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
