So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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