I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
