Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
