You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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