My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
