So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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