"it" just moved
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
