lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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