you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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