She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Let's get the cat blown out
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
