i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm jealous of your bromance
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
