The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
