How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
