have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
