the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
