areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
