but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
